Mentor Spotlight: Matt and Tami Sandys
Matt and Tami Sandys have been dedicated mentors with Faithful Friends for several years. As a married couple, they’ve taken on separate mentee matches while also building relationships with each other’s mentees, often enjoying group activities together.
Matt, an IT consultant, and Tami, a professional in digital film and video production, live in Rockwood and dedicate weekly time to their mentees. Their mentoring journey began in southern Oregon with another organization, followed by volunteering with Foster Parents Night Out before joining Faithful Friends. They are active members of Bridgetown Church in Portland.
We recently interviewed Matt and Tami to learn more about their mentoring experiences and gather their advice for new mentors. Here’s what they shared:
Why did you decide to become mentors?
Matt: I love kids and spending time with them. We started volunteering with Foster Parents Night Out (FPNO) and then worked with Royal Family Kids (now For The Children) as one-on-one mentors and summer camp counselors since 2017. Tami had a history of working with FPNO and wanted me to join her after we got married. My dad has been involved with RFK for 16 years and his service is an inspiration for me. Matt really enjoys being silly and having fun with the kids and being a solid adult figure for them to rely on.
Tami: I first became a mentor in 2018 after I started as a camp counselor at the Josephine County Royal Family Kids Camp. This camp is for kids ages 6-12 in foster care. After the weeklong summer camp they have a club that runs the whole 9 months of the school year that is part of the mentoring program. After doing that first camp I really felt compelled to sign up for mentoring and it was a great learning experience. When we moved back to Portland, I googled mentorship programs and found Faithful Friends because I couldn’t imagine not mentoring anymore.
What has been the highlight of your experience as mentors with Faithful Friends?
Matt: Seeing my mentee gain confidence and being able to make a friend with someone I wouldn’t even know without Faithful Friends.
Tami: The highlight of mentoring with FF is creating a lasting relationship with a child that is having challenges in their life and just needs a friend to encourage and spend time with them. Having a seven-year-old call you bestie is pretty fun too!
Have you seen a child make a significant change or improvement as a result of your guidance? If so, could you share a success story?
Matt: My mentee still has times where he is quiet and doesn’t want to interact, but those are less frequent. He opens up about more things and wants to share his struggles and successes with me. I make him order his own food or ask his question of the server, shop clerk, or whomever he wants to ask his question. Whenever there is an opportunity to use his own voice, I encourage it. He used to always ask me to order or ask the question and now he tells me he wants to order or talk to the other person.
Tami: I’m grateful for my mentee's foster mother who really works with her on her challenges, and I feel honored that I get to support them in reinforcing positive behaviors and changes. One of the things that I have seen a positive difference in is my mentee’s attitude when playing games. There is a lot less anger and frustration if she’s not the winner.
What advice would you give to someone considering becoming a mentor for the first time?
Matt: If you feel inclined to work with kids, don’t hesitate to sign up. Other than just wanting to hang out with kids, I felt unqualified to own the title of “mentor”, I thought, “what do I have to offer?”, but once I received the required training and spent time with the kids, I felt better about my abilities. A good mentor is someone that simply spends time with the child, is quick to listen to and slow to speak. Get on their level, physically, by bending down or kneeling to meet their eye level. A quote I frequently think about, which greatly changed my perspective is "be the adult you needed as a child”. Kids want to laugh and play and be creative and have an advocate for their voices and feelings, so foster those during your time with them and you’ll be a success.
Tami: If you are considering being a mentor, do it! You have your unique personality and personal skills that no one else has. All you have to do is show up, be consistent, and love these kids.
What have you learned about building a relationship with your mentee(s)? Have you faced any challenges along the way?
Matt: My mentee was very shut down and quiet when we first met and he still has quiet times, sometimes being non-verbal when I pick him up. It's hard to not take that personally, but once I stopped thinking it was about me and realized he’s processing life like us all, I give him space to just decompress by giving him quiet time during our car ride. If I keep asking him questions, he retreats inward even more and just gets annoyed. I might put on music or just drive in silence, allowing him to break the silence, which he always has.
Tami: Building a relationship with my mentee has been a process. I started out as a complete stranger, and it took time to build trust. She was very quiet when we first started meeting and now, she lets all of her personality shine through.
Has mentoring children (separately and together) influenced your relationship as a couple?
Matt: During our time with Royal Family, we tried to schedule mentoring time together, we were sometimes mentoring siblings. I enjoyed watching Tami navigate difficult scenarios and learning from them. We get to share our mentoring successes and troubles with each other. It's brought us close because we get to bond over a shared experience.
Tami: The first set of kids we mentored in southern Oregon were brothers, so we literally did everything together. It was a nice way to start out. Since then, we’ve mostly done things separately, but it is great to have someone to talk to who knows your mentee and can help give advice if you have a challenging day. There’s also another grownup friend for your mentee to have. My mentee loves Matt and always asks where he is and if he can play with us too. It helps us to practice our communication and gain perspective.
What skills or lessons do you hope the kids learn from you? Or what do you hope your mentees will think of when they reflect on their time with you in the future?
Matt: Being consistent and trustworthy with your words and actions. Always be kind and always try to have fun. That I was a good friend and someone they can rely on for having fun but also being someone they can trust with their burdens.
Tami: I hope that my mentee learns that she is valuable and loved. I hope she learns that it’s okay to make mistakes, but to just be honest and own up to them. That it’s okay to have a bad day and need quiet time. That she doesn’t have to do anything to earn her value and love. I hope that she thinks of all the quality time and laughs and silliness and wants to be a mentor to another young girl experiencing difficulties.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experience?
Matt: As a Christian, I want to share God’s love and grace by being kind and generous with my time and God-given skills, allowing myself to be interruptible.
Tami: It can seem intimidating when you first start, but if you just keep going it gets good. God can take that mustard seed of faith and turn it into something big and beautiful.
Matt and Tami’s heartfelt reflections highlight the joy and growth that comes with mentoring. Their story is a testament to the power of showing up, building trust, and creating lasting bonds. We at Faithful Friends are grateful for mentors like Matt and Tami who are making a meaningful difference in children’s lives.
